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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Being a Parent

There is one word, to me, that describes the life of being a parent.  Put as many "grands" in front of that as you will.  That word is FEAR.  It seems to have changed a lot since my young days since parents have so many more things to fear these days it seems.

Recently, my middle grandson was caught in a rip tide and had to be rescued.  I can feel my daughter's terror as she ran towards him with no thought other than saving the life of her son.  A little over a week ago my youngest grandson was born and had/has some problems breathing along with some heart issues.  I can imagine my daughter looking at her new son with so much love yet there has to be some fear there in the background.

I know when my kids first started driving I listened to the traffic accident report every morning and cringed each time there was an accident on their side of town and the constant fear they might be involved.

My older daughter lived with me for a while and whenever she was out it was constant stress waiting for her to get back home safely.  Maybe go to bed and maybe go to sleep but most often not until I heard the door open and her footsteps in the hall.

I would call fear the flip side of love for a parent but it is not that.  It is not one or the other.  Where there is love there also is fear.  Fear of something bad happening to one's loved one.  Fear of losing one's loved one for whatever reason.  Fear of not being a good enough parent to give one's children the proper grounding to be successful in life. 

Love and fear are the two things a parent lives with constantly.  I try to not show it as it would show no purpose but I still feel it every day of my life.  Love and fear.  For my children and their children.  Nothing special in that.  Just what it means to be a parent.