Thinking About Small Children

I know I'm getting old and I've been jaded pretty much my whole life.  Makes me wish I could go back to being a very young child.  You know, way back when everything was a discovery on par with a trip to another planet.  Everything was so new and so wonderful.

Sometimes I can't help but feel a trifle jealous when I watch one of my grand kids at play.  Or any other small child, really.  Their happy smiles and giggles are, well, just so doggone happy.  The innocent pleasure they take in the smallest things are beautiful beyond describing.  I wish I had the power to convey to them just how wonderful this time of their life is and how much things will change in the much to near future.  I wish children could all realize just how good they have it and appreciate this time in their lives.

When a small child is happy their smiles are things of pure beauty.  Just happiness.  There is no buried hate, envy, disdain, hypocrisy, hidden motives and agendas.  There is just joy in the moment.  And the reason does not have to be anything an adult might consider special.  Just seeing a butterfly or humming bird, getting that music box to play, learning to tie one's own shoe.   Children can be so happy for so many simple reasons.  That should be a lesson to us all.  It really is the small things in life that should (and mostly do) make up the happiest.

Children, unfortunately, must be scolded when they do unacceptable things and parents seem to be much better at that than at praising them when they do something good.  That something good does not have to be much in the eyes of an adult but in the eyes of a child it is a wonder and if not praised that wonder loses some of its glory and the child loses some of that precious ability to be happy for such small reasons.

One example from my own lie is learning to tie one's own shoes.  My shoe laces seemed to come undone on their own and I was forever trying to get someone to tie my shoes.  The adults got tired of it fairly quickly and tried to teach me to tie my own shoes.  I just could not get the hang of it then though it is such a simple thing now.  They grew frustrated and quit.  I grew frustrated and rebelled and just ran around with shoe laces flopping.  Though I kept trying it on my own.

I clearly recall the day I first tied my own shoes correctly.  I was elated, on cloud 9 and could not wait to show everyone I could time my own shoes now.  Nobody cared.  It was like, "Oh, fine.  Now I don't have to mess with it any more."   I was devastated.    It was one of my first lessons in the way life really is that lead me to be an introvert.  My successes were always kept inside and always treated with indifference to other people. 

Of course my parents were the type that expected perfection (according to their beliefs) at all times and since perfection was expected, success was never praised.  Heaven help me though should I fail at something.  Imperfection was quickly punished.  Verbally, physically or both.  And since my parents had such widely varying ideas on perfection I was always going to be wrong to at least one of them.  It could be quite stressful and probably one of the big reasons I tried to spend as much time away from my parents as possible.

I guess that is why I love to see the innocent and pure joy of a small child enjoying a small victory or just the fact they are alive and its a wonderful day.  I tried to not do  those things I suffered to my own children and I hope they will always praise every success their children have and realize perfection is only a goal and we are all fated to fall short of it.  Quite often.

I love seeing a smile on the faces of my grand children.    Something simple that pleases them.  Some small success that seems so important at the time and elates them.  I enjoy those same things with other small children.  It is a time that should be the most magical and wonderful years of their lives and I wish more adults realized that and took the time to praise and encourage them instead of ignoring or dismissing as unimportant all those small steps a child must take on his/her way to adulthood.

You just don't really know how long lasting one word of praise at the right time might be.