My elder sent me some photos of her elder and did not mention what the photos were from. It was he, him and Dad with a bouquet of roses. And, I sent her a reply about any special moment with one's kids is like nothing else. And it is.
But, as usual, it set me to thinking a lot about a parent's pride in a child's accomplishments versus a parent living their own dreams viciously via their children. Far too much of that going on. Why do we have parent's showing their ass at a kids little league game? Whose game is it anyway? Parents who subject their children to this sort of thing need to be taken for a long walk on a short pier. Seriously.
We had our childhood. If it did now work out the way we would have liked...Shit happens. Most of us were not the kids who hit the grand slam in the bottom of the last inning or hit the winning shot with zero on the clock. Deal with it. Our children's dreams are just that, THEIR dreams. Our job as parent's is to help them on the path to achieving THEIR dreams not reliving our own. Our time came. Our time passed. Now is Their time not ours.
Makes me realize it does not matter what his achievement was. That belongs to him. Just that his parents were there to share the moment in support of him, joyous for him, not for themselves. Well, yes, for themselves too. But not for whatever dream he achieved but because they had been there supporting him in pursuing his own dream, his own way and being honestly joyous for him without needing to interject their own dreams over his.
I think (hope) I have always taught my kids they should not allow the praise or criticism of others to deter them from following their own paths to their own goals and I'd support the for whatever that goal was and I believe they are teaching their children the same thing and following up on it by celebrating their children's successes without trying to push them into paths where they, themselves, have failed. They are allowing their children to be who they are and one success means as much as any other. It is, after all, our children's dreams not our own.
See, I realize now those are my successes. It does not matter what my job title was, how much money I made, how big my house was, what car I drove, etc. It matters only that I love my kids and they know that. It matters that I pushed my kids to follow their own dreams and by doing that they will allow my grand kids to pursue their own way in this world and be happy for them. And, that will follow down through succeeding generations.
Something to think about when the volunteer umpire calls strike three on an obvious ball four or any other setback or even achievement your child has. Celebrate THEIR victories. Commiserate with them on THEIR defeats. Those are theirs not yours. It does not matter if they with a game or lose it, just love them, support them, give them a hug... and keep your damn ego out of their life. You had your own childhood, let them have theirs.
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