For the time being at least. Last night was the first night in many, many nights I have not awoken to leg pain that required more pain medication, more pain rub or both. Mostly both. I made it though the day without pain though my leg was getting pretty tired and leaving work still required a limp. But blessedly no real pain.
But these long weeks of pain have had me thinking about pain in general. There are many people in this world who suffer much greater pain in their lives than I suffer any day. Yet I was thinking of how little tomorrow means if it is filled with this pain and what would it be like to end it now. I've often wondered about people who choose to end their own life. Seems such a drastic and close-ended solution. Things change.. what if you're just WRONG? There is no "oops" here. But even with my minor (relatively speaking) pain I have had a small look into the life of someone in torment day and night and now begin to understand the appeal of stooping that pain any way at all.
I guess pain just becomes another kind of insanity after a while. Pain clogs the mind and stops rational thought. Pain becomes a world of it's own. Eventually, stopping that pain is all a person desires. I am talking about physical pain but I'm sure emotional pain is much the same. In fact, I know it is. There are a lot of people in this world who are in deep physical and/or emotional pain every day. Many choose to stop it permanently. Many, though, choose to find a reason to endure one more day. Day after day. They are truly blessed with strength beyond what is normal.
If you know someone around you filled with pain with no chance of it easing yet they choose to go on each day.. cherish them. It takes a special strength of will and character to endure that and keep on going. But I can see why Dr Kevorkian had so many clients.
Well, that is my gloom for the evening. :-) Have a great night all.
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