Torturing a Young Child

Grown ups get a lot of pleasure out of torturing a young child.  Not that they consider it torture or anything but "fun" and that is what the adults in their lives did to them.  It is just the young kids who think of it as torture.

Aunt Burnices' son, Jerry Lee, loved to "beard" me to no end.  And, EVERYBODY loved to tickle me.  I was so highly ticklish as a child you could just look like you were going to tickle me and I'd start squirming and laughing even though being tickled was no fun at all.

But, through sheer VanHoose stubbornness I learned to deal with it.  Just an effort of will like I was used to making in other areas.  I WILLED myself to not react to the "bearding" or to the "tickling".  Just like most bullying.  If you can ignore it long enough and not give in to reacting it will soon get boring for whomever is doing it and it will stop.  Not particularly pleasant but worth it in the end.  I've found in my live,  no matter what the situation, the best response is none at all.  Especially to any kind of harassment.  If the teaser, the torturer, whomever cannot provoke a reaction from you they will get bored with it and stop.  Or, at least, slow down gradually.

I learned this from bearding and, mostly, from tickling but it came in very handy with  my relationship with my mother.  I learned to just "disappear".  I would sink deep inside myself and refuse to speak or react in any manner.  I just let her rant on until she was finished and went away.  Much simpler that way.  There is no productive way you can argue with a crazy person. 

I wonder if my "torture" was really a bad thing.  I learned very valuable lessons from it.  Now, it does not matter what I might feel inside (and usually that is very little) you will never know it from my outside.   I can still "disappear" if I need to.  It is not that hard to become invisible.  The secret is learning not to care.  That is hard for most people as it is quite natural for people to care about parents or those who claim to be friends and other relatives. 

It is a sad, but true, fact though, "Nobody will screw over you like your family".  Safest all the way around just to lock yourself inside and everyone else out.  Remember, only those you love have the power to hurt you. 

Listen to Art Simon and Paul Garfunkel's 1960's hit, "I am a Rock".  I think it says it perfectly.